Sacrifice

Happy Belated Mother’s Day to my sweet, dear wife. And, happy four years since we started dating!! And happy six months since arriving in Brazil!

Savannah does not know I am writing this; however, I just wanted to give a public shout out and thank you to my wife for the years of sacrifices she has made and continues to make. Ever since we got married it seems as though our roles have been reversed. She would love to be the stay at home wife/mom, creating a comfortable atmosphere at home for us to enjoy as a family as well as for us to invite others over to cultivate friendships. Now that we have Titus, she would love to be at home playing with him, teaching him, laughing with him all day.

However, this has not been the life we have had. I’m not complaining, or saying there are any regrets. I’m just saying I’m thankful for my wife. When we first got married, I was in seminary and working part time putting much of the workload on her shoulders, to work full time and “put me through seminary.” She worked from 8:00am till 6:00pm. Whereas she would have loved to have been home to make a hot dinner for me when I got home from the day’s activities, we usually both got home about the same time and threw together a quick bite to eat (many times as I was on my way out the door for evening classes).

Once we had Titus, we had what many might call a “normal” lifestyle. I worked full-time while Savannah was full-time momma! But that only lasted about 4 months. Then we started getting ready to leave the country. Whereas we definitely enjoyed time with friends and family, and we were greatly refreshed by our training in Virginia before coming to Brazil, during that time it was difficult to have a schedule, to be a “normal” family, to sit down and smile and relax and enjoy being parents. In some ways, we were ready to get to Brazil because we would finally be able to put down an anchor, find some routines, and slow down a bit.

Whereas much of that has happened, our first 6 months (can you believe it’s been 6 months already!?) have also been difficult. Those who receive our monthly newsletters know that Titus has been fighting cold/flu/pneumonia off and on for the past 1-2 months. That has been especially taxing for his momma, in a country where she can’t speak the language (though she’s learning fast and doing great!) and there are different germs and bacteria affecting us all.

In the midst of all this, it is my wife who has made the most sacrifice to be in Brazil. Whereas my Portuguese can always get better, I’m already comfortable living here and speaking to whoever about whatever. I love the food (sometimes more than American food!). Having spent 2 years here, I understand the culture and have learned to even appreciate it. However, none of these things are true of my wife – not to say she isn’t learning fast. It’s all new to her. What is easy and comfortable for me is difficult and strange to her.

In particular, and going back to how I started this blog, she has continued to make sacrifices for the sake of our marriage and for the sake of our call to missions. I simply want to acknowledge the difficulties of these sacrifices and tell her thank you, publicly. One big sacrifice concerns being a mother. Clearly she is a fantastic mother to our child! I love watching them together. However, what I am saying is that in order to learn Portuguese, ever since we got here, she has said goodbye to Titus every morning at around 7:30am, not to see him again until 10:30am or even noon (depending on a given day’s Portuguese activities). Whereas this is important for her to be able to leave the house to learn the language, and whereas I love my mornings with Titus, this is just difficult for his momma. Perhaps you who are moms can relate-there is that natural bond between mother and son. And it is difficult day after day for her to say goodbye to him. I tell her some of the new things he is learning to do, or say, new habits or routines (such as transitioning him from two naps per day to one!). There is a sense in which she feels that she should be telling me about those things, not the other way around.

Another great sacrifice she makes each and every day is in the simple fact that we are in Brazil! I lived here for 2 years. I have friends here. I rather prefer heat and humidity to cold and crisp – I prefer sweating to wearing multiple layers. For my wife, who grew up in North Carolina and Virginia, she rather enjoys her 4 seasons and misses frost on the ground and seeing her breath. The elements are physically exhausting, and the language and culture are mentally exhausting. She’s getting it from all angles! But she’s doing well, smiling, learning to love a culture and a people that, 6 months ago, she did not know.

One final, specific sacrifice, concerns pregnancy. As I just mentioned, the heat and humidity as well as the language and culture pack some punches; however, this is only amplified by the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy. So far, she hasn’t complained, but I know these days are difficult and long for her. On top of the exhaustion is the fear of giving birth in a foreign country! Whereas we are excited about our little girl being born a Brazilian, there is a lot of nervousness as we look at doctors and hospitals and think about the whole process going down in Portuguese!

So, as we look at 4 years since we started dating and 6 months in country, I just want to tell my wife publicly that she is doing great in Brazil and that I am incredibly proud of her and thankful for who she is and what she has done and continues to do for the sake of our family and our calling.

PS – We’ll try to be a little more consistent about posting here! Sorry it has been so long!